Today we will give you some Friday Funnies to kickstart your weekend!
What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up!
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: "Olive or twist?"
What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: "Please, no stories!"
Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
A: "A beer please, and one for the road."
You know what's fun about being sober?
A: Nothing.
Why did Mexicans create tequila?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
How do you know a man is really really gay?
A: When he's nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Why does Corona go through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!
Why don’t Democrats drink?
A: It interferes with their suffering!
I was going to write a joke about alcoholic midgets but I don't want to lower the bar.
And on that note, Happy Weekend everybody!!!!
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