Today we will give you some Friday Funnies to kickstart your weekend!
What do blondes and bottle of Corona have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up!
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A: A Budweiser in each hand!
Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini?
A: "Olive or twist?"
What did the bartender say after a book walked into the bar?
A: "Please, no stories!"
Why did God invent Jameson whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world!
What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
A: The Holy Spirit!
What did the man with slab of asphalt under his arm order?
A: "A beer please, and one for the road."
You know what's fun about being sober?
A: Nothing.
Why did Mexicans create tequila?
A: So ugly people would have a chance at having sex!
What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
How many men does it take to open a Budweiser bottle?
A: none. the lady should already have it open on the table!
How do you know a man is really really gay?
A: When he's nursing a Bacardi Breezer!
What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
A: A guy will actually SEARCH for a bottle of Jack Daniels.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Why does Corona go through your system so fast?
A: Because it does not have to stop to change color
Where do monkeys go to drink?
A: The monkey bars!
Why don’t Democrats drink?
A: It interferes with their suffering!
I was going to write a joke about alcoholic midgets but I don't want to lower the bar.
And on that note, Happy Weekend everybody!!!!
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Friday, 25 October 2013
Thursday, 24 October 2013
Funny Drinking Quotes
We tried hard to find the best funny drinking quotes out there. If we missed something good, I assure you we want to know about it. Please leave us a comment below and send it our way so that we can add it to the page.
"A quote about drinking is a joy forever" - John Keats
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution - to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." - Al Bundy, Married with Children
"Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . ." - Thornton Mellon, Back to School
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." - Bluto, Animal House
--Homer: "No TV and no beer make Homer something something."
--Marge: "Go crazy?'
--Homer: "Don't mind if I do!"
"I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody." - Hawkeye from M*A*S*H
"Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey." - Pappy from Maverick
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. " - Dean Martin
"I don't care how liberated this world becomes, a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume, and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. "
- Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
"The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got. " - Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. " - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. " - Ed McMahon
"I like my whiskey old and my women young. " - Errol Flynn
If you are looking for more beer and alcohol quote related goodness please come visit us on Facebook.
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution - to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
"Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer." - Al Bundy, Married with Children
"Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . ." - Thornton Mellon, Back to School
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." - Bluto, Animal House
--Homer: "No TV and no beer make Homer something something."
--Marge: "Go crazy?'
--Homer: "Don't mind if I do!"
"I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody." - Hawkeye from M*A*S*H
"Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey." - Pappy from Maverick
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. " - Dean Martin
"I don't care how liberated this world becomes, a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume, and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. "
- Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
"The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got. " - Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
"Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. " - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. " - Ed McMahon
"I like my whiskey old and my women young. " - Errol Flynn
If you are looking for more beer and alcohol quote related goodness please come visit us on Facebook.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)