The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:
1 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
2 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
3 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
4 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are smarter than most people, causing you to act like an moron.
5 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
6 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you cannot remember).
7 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
8 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
9 – WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.
